The Aigburth Arms Posse visit the real Aigburth Arms

Report by Paul (TRD)

On Saturday 7th July 2001, the Aigburth Arms Posse met at 9:30am at Liverpool Lime St. station.

Ageing Dwarfer and Entil'Zah Valzie were already there when myself and Mattflibs arrived at 9:30. Two minutes later Dr Lanstrum and Mrs Flibble turned up. The last two people were to be met at the entrance to the train station...... hmmm? There are three entrances; so we stayed at the middle one and Ageing went off to find the other two dwarfers. Arriving back in less that two minutes with Jinx and her mate Maddie in tow.

All together we went off in search our hotel; The Gladstone Hotel. This was not very far away from the station to tell the truth; in fact it was out of an exit and up the hill. After checking-in Mattflibs, Mrs Flibble, Dr Lanstrum and myself sat in the foyer chatting, introducing myself to everyone properly. We all sat on the leather armchairs in the foyer for what seemed like hours; before deciding what to do next.

As Ageing Dwarfer and Valzie had stopped the night before they decided to show us round town. At around 10:30am we left the hotel and headed for a local sci-fi shop called Worlds Apart. This shop stocked every kind of sci-fi memorabilia you could every want; that is apart from Red Dwarf :( They had a few books, but that was it; it was very lacking in the 'Red Dwarf merchandise department'.

We left the shop about 25 or-so minutes later; and after wandering about for a while we stumbled upon a cyber-cafe called Planet Electra, we booked 1/2 hour on two PC's and had some drink. Each of us checked our email and caught up with goings-on on the 'Aigburth Arms board' and BTLi @ TORDFC (only available to members). This took us nicely up to 12:10pm,just enough time to walk down the road to the ODEAN Cinema. We got there a few minutes later, well 1 minute actually it's only a few doors down; and we took some pictures of our intrepid organisers Ageing and Valzie (love you guys) in front of a the Tomb Raider / Lara Croft cardboard fascia in the foyer. Popcorn and drinks were next on the agenda, as you can't go to the cinema a not spend large amounts of money on cinema snacks, can you? The movie was a hit, well at least I thought so. And I could see the drool from all the young ladies mouths as Chris walked on-screen. I mean c'mon, what has he got that I haven't? Erm... okay, so he has a great job, nice car, lots of money. Well 2/3 ain't bad I suppose. Chris' part 'Hillary' was played brilliantly in Tomb Raider, but for some reason every time I saw him, all I could see was a smartly dressed Rimmer :)

Well enough about the film, because probably everybody has seen it now, and if you haven't I recommend it. After the film both Ageing and Valzie went off to 'Forbidden Planet' (another sci-fi shop) and the rest of us went back to the hotel to freshen up. Saying they'd be back by 2:30pm we waited in the foyer as this time arrived (they arrived back at 2:45), this was hilarious as they said that they'd been side tracked, LOL. Well after they had been up to their room and freshen up, we left in two taxies to the Aigburth Arms (The main reason for our visit to Liverpool).

The excitement of us all was boiling over as we left the taxies behind us and entered the pub. The pub is split in two with a restaurant bit and a bar bit with a pool table. We soon found ourselves in the pool room drinking our first round of drinks which the lovely Valzie purchased. We all sat down in the corner next to this huge television which was showing 'The Box' (music channel). The member of staff that was behind the bar was fantastic; and somehow she had twigged that we we're Red Dwarf fans before we even spoke to her. It might of been my opening line "Do you have an empty cardboard box?", but who knows? Well Emma, the lovely barmaid, took a photo of us all. We then sat down and had our drinks. We chatted for ages before Mattflibs asked if anyone would like a game of pool. Playing pool at the Aigburth Arms was a surreal experience. Matt teamed up with Mrs Flibble and I teamed up with Jinx. This was a very very long game, as we are all 'pants' at pool. Jinx and I did not win, but it was very close, only one ball in it. Photographs of this defeat we taken, but not with my camera :) So I'll see if I can get hold of any.

Emma had found us a box and Mattflibs inscribed the immortal words onto it (btw, the space is in the wrong place Mattflibs ;) )The time came to place the sacred box underneith the pool table and now was the time for the photo opportunity everyone had been waiting for. *FLASH* *FLASH* *FLASH* *FLASH* Four or more cameras were taking multiple pictures of this box, oh, and the pool table.


The pool table was then taken over by some of Locals (much better at pool than us), and so we sat down in the corner and stated once again to have a real-good natter. Red Dwarf quotes we're thrown in at intervals by yours truly; at one point someone commented on me doing this, you know who you are :) This turned out to be good, as Red Dwarf quotes never stopped; it was great!

In to the next room we went after spending a good few hours chatting and drinking, mainly 'soft drinks' surprisingly. Time for food! many of us hadn't eaten all day, and by this time we were absolutely starving; I think we would have eaten Listers dog food, if there was nothing else. We each ordered food individually at the bar, a nightmare for the chef, I would think? But the food was cooked reasonably quickly and it was really nice too. I had Scampi & Chips which was lovely. I know that everyone enjoyed their meals.

After the food we we're all parched; so off back up to the bar we went for drinks. Mattflibs joked about wanting a 'Dry White Wine and Perrier', which Ageing bought, and so he had to drink it. That was funny because he didn't like it much; so it kinda went round the table with everyone had a taste. The night continued with more drinks and more conversation. Having never met up with a group of Red Dwarf fanatics before, this was great, talking about my favourite show.

Mattflibs not wanting to break the topic of Red Dwarf, decided to try a Cinzano Bianco; well this was OK, until he had it in front of him. Being to scared to drink it, we all cheered him on to drink it in one go. He did this, and the look on his face *laughs*; Reminded me of Lister's dog food meal. After he downed the drink, I named him Matt (Cinzano Bianco) flibs. This name kinda stuck for a while.

Many many many more photo's were taken both inside and out side the Aigburth Arms, and all in all we had a great time. At about 8-ish, two of our gang who were from Liverpool, got a lift home and the six of us left got a taxi back to the hotel after yet more photograph taking.

The taxi ride was the funniest taxi ride I've ever been on, though the joke was about me, so if you want to know why, you'll have to ask someone. The taxi driver was excellent. Well, arriving back at the hotel, more pictures we taken and then up to the bar we went to order Mattflibs another Cinzano Bianco *LOL*. We got our drinks and sat down on the sofa's in the bar. After chatting for a while, about 9:30-ish we were all quite tired, and some of us went to bed. A few of us stayed up a little longer and had one more drink.

The next morning, to my amazement I actually woke up before my alarm clock went off. It was about 7:10am and I decided to put pen-to-paper and document the weekend's activities. I didn't write everything down, just notes (It's taken about 2 1/2 hours too write 'this' report), but anyway we all met up in the bar area about 9:00am and went through to the restaurant for our breakfast. The food was good and I think we all ate more than we should have.

Valzie was the first person to leave and go home at around 11:00am and we all went on to the platform to see her off, Rimmer Saluting as she left. It was very emotional. And then there were five.

Well Ageing wasn't leaving till later in the day so we all had a walk around Liverpool (well part of it). As Ageing had already been shopping more than twice, she needed a back to put all of her souvenirs in. Finding the 'bag' shop was fun; as we walked through the shopping centre we walked past one shoe shop, then another, then another, and then... another. We wondered if people bought anything else other than shoes in Liverpool? :) Finally found the shop and bought a bag so then we were happy. We decided that we had a few hours to spare until the next party's train arrived so we went back to Planet Electra, the cyber cafe we'd found the day earlier. We decided to post a message of each of the boards ('Aigburth Arms board' and Post Pod interactive @ TORDFC (only available to members)) once more. We each checked our email and then sat in the comfy seats near the window, eating food which we had ordered. Time was nearly up, we only had about 45 minutes until the first train was to leave, so we made our way back to the hotel.

Back at the hotel, Allen (the Guest Services Co-ordinator, who we had met the previous day) was in the foyer. What a nice bloke, he was very funny, and made us laugh a lot. He retrieved our bags from left luggage (a job which was Brian's, the porter) and we sat on the Chesterfield Settees in the foyer chatting to him until it was time to leave.

Time came for us to say our goodbyes to the hotel and the staff that we had terrorised for the previous 24-or-so hours, walked down the hill to the train station. The first train to leave was Dr Lanstum and Mrs Flibbles train. This was a very emotional time for us all as we waved goodbye (Until Dimension Jump, for me). Ten minutes later Mine and Mattflibs' train was ready to go. I tried to get Ageing to come with us, but she couldn't :(


Rimmer Saluting as we left; we realised that our weekend was over. Ageing made her way back to the hotel for a while as her plane didn't leave for a few hours.

This weekend was one of the best weekends I've had in ages... and 'Yes', we will return to the sacred pub again next year, but until then why not join us at the Aigburth Arms message board.